Life has always had irrationally quick ups and downs for me. Most of which even my friends weren’t aware of. Lately I’ve been having trouble picking how i actually feel from hour to hour. Work is really exciting since I’m finally coding again, but it’s also really depressing since I’m sort of drowning in the depth of it. And I’m not just talking about the depth as far as there’s a lot of codebase, I mean it’s also deep; as in way more abstract and cleverly planned than I have ever dealt with. I won’t say I’m not up to the challenge, I just occasionally wish I could make things “work,” and get that instant gratification of “oooh look what I did!” This reminds me that I should be doing side projects, whether personal or open source, but after a day on the computer, I only want to be lazy or braindead when looking at a monitor, not trying to motivate myself to do work.

To that end, I’ve been trying to do more non-computer things to keep me at least from becoming lame. I just read “I hope they serve beer in hell” by Tucker Max. It was a short, easy to read, and mostly hilarious book. Perfect to get me back into reading, since I kind of dropped the ball on that when I started college. I’m hoping to read at least a few books a month from here on out, even if they are tech/work related. I want to watch more movies too, or go to {baseball,hockey} games if possible. I basically just am realizing that all I did in college was homework, party, concert-go, and piss around. Now that homework is gone and partying has become a different beast, pissing around is not what it used to be, and Pittsburgh frankly sucks as far as concerts go as of late. I guess all this faux-motivation will just have to evolve into something that turns a profit in terms of my need for interesting experiences.